But I just had to get these thoughts out of my heart.
I'm sitting here reading this article, and then I click over to the Facebook page, and I'm just struck with how freaking beautiful, adorable and perfect that little boy is. First of all, let me just get this out of the way and say fuck you Facebook, that wasn't a mistake, you are just backtracking on a bad PR move. Nice try. My next thought, is how incredibly lucky I am to have the healthy children I do.
I look at those pictures of Hudson and I think of Sadie. Her big beautiful doe eyes and sweet little smile. Her tiny little hands and miniature feets. As hard as the past 2 months have been, I love that little baby so much it hurts. The first month of her life is a total blur to me, I can't remember most of it even now. That kills me, because those memories should be set in stone, but well that's another post for another day. I can't imagine having the memories of my child be shrouded by a hospital and tubes coming out of every orifice. I am so very damn lucky to have the children I do.
Sure they have their issues, what with SPD and reflux, but honestly, in the grand scheme of things those aren't even problems. They are more like nuances of normal. We learn to adapt and make their lives so that those nuances are barely noticeable. And we are lucky that we can do that.
So basically what I'm saying through this late night word salad is that when I read things like that article or see pictures of children who are very ill, my heart just aches and I want to rush into my babies' rooms and scoop them up out of their beds and snuggle them like crazy. Because there are only so many more moments in this life that I can do that, you know before they grow up and start to think I'm weird and embarrassing or whatever.
And now, I think I'll go to bed because I'm sure that my inner monologue sounds much better than this post right now, and I'm gonna read it in the morning and be like "seriously? shoulda gone to bed ya dumb ass!"